By The Sidelines
by tAnGeRiNe-jUjUbE08
Summary: The bitterness of a heartbreak makes us realize the  sweetness of a new love.
1. Chapter 1

By the Sidelines

For someone I know who really wallowed himself in self pity.

*NOTE: Please read the whole text. We dont want to miss an awesome twist by jumping into conclusions :)

* * *

He never knew this time would come. He never predicted this scene before his eyes. He always knew things and always sure of what would it become. He's above the rest. A bloody genius for Kami's sake. But what happened? He glanced upwards, his heart twitching; an unbearable pain in his chest starts to form. He can't look. He can't bear the pain. He can't even stop the tears that threaten to fall; yet, before gravity does its work, he made his way out of the suffocating room.

He slammed the door and started wandering aimlessly. Walking to where his feet would take him. Truth to be told, his feet brought him to one familiar place: the Sakura tree. _Our sakura tree_ he mused bitterly. The tree seems to feel his agony, for as the wind blew every tree, his tree just stood there. No evidence of movement. None of the usual swaying with the wind. It's weird perhaps the tree has life. The tree that he feels somewhat connected to his heart and soul. His tree was his only sanctuary. A haven he could always he could always go especially at times like this. But then again, he never knew this day would come. He always perceived this tree is the only place he could think but never in a million years had he planned to shed tears in between the branches of the sturdy tree.

Water starts to dwell up in his eyes before falling to the ground. A solitary moment he never wanted to have. The tinge of bitterness towards his best friend and his new found love just added fuel to the cynical tears he is making. He wants his best friend to be happy cause that what he should be. But there's a part of him that negates the thought. Could he be just selfish just for a moment? Can he just feel the love he had?

That memory starts to haunt him again. That day. That dreaded day when he felt the wrath of the greatest humane feeling. LOVE. The picture is still vivid.

* * *

_He lay there in the hospital bed due to another asthma attack. He cursed himself for being a workaholic. His health will hinder him from reaching his dreams if he didn't give a damn about it. He looked up from the white ceiling as the smell of alcohol and chemicals clouded his senses. He made no movement as the door opened and someone stepped in. Probably a nurse to check on him. He closed his eyes but he still hears the shuffling of seat to his side._

"_Na-chan.." A feminine voice spoke to him, he cracked his eyes wide open, recognizing the voice he loves. He tried to sit up, only to be greeted up by her gesture to stay still._

"_What's up?" He strikes a conversation. He tried to find her eyes that somewhat hidden beneath her bangs. Something ain't right. Why is she so quiet? Why can't she look into his eyes?_

"_Uhm,ano.." She started, somewhat reserved. His heart thumped loudly. Every nerve in his body jolted in uncertainty. He rose his brows in confusion. She look at him, meeting his eyes for a brief moment then shrinking back to her previous form. Head hung low, the beautiful crystals hidden underneath her hair._

"_Are you going to say something or what?" He tried to suppress his irritation from the eerie silence. He heard her sigh before looking straight to his bloodshot eyes._

"_Uhm, do you remember the time you asked me if I got my eyes on someone?" She peered innocently. His heart raced a million times. He clearly remembered that time. They were in the Sakura tree, sitting side by side enjoying the slap of wind in their faces. He asked that strange question just to stop the nagging feeling he always have whenever he see her talking to other guys. Must be jealousy but back then, he's still indenial._

"_Yeah." He tried to sound as normal as possible. Could this be it? That feeling he always wanted to be reciprocated?_

"_Uhm, last night, I realized that I do have someone." She smiled sheepishly._

_If it was even possible, his heart raced to an almost impossible speed. Is this what he's been dreaming of? His mind was clouded with different thoughts. She left him dazed and almost incapable of answering her back._

"_uh, who is it?" He tried to quell his excitement and feign an indifferent look. But deep inside, it's the total opposite._

_She beamed at him. A smile that almost took his breath away. He's silently praying while trying to conceal his inevitable fidgeting. Why does he have to be darn nervous?_

"_Ruka-kun! " He stared at her in state of shock. His body felt the shaking of his hand. He felt like his heart is ripped away from his body. _

"_Rruuka?" He stammered while faking another indifferent aura. His best friend? He was hammered by his own best friend?_

"_Hai! I just realized that last night when he asked me to dance. You know, when you left because you had an attack? He asked me to dance and I accepted it! He told me he like me, and I told him the same thing! By the end of the night, we're together!" She continued to blab while squealing happily. His mind is blocked by incoherent thoughts that are somewhat irrelevant from her rants. He clutched his fists and look down. He was supposed to ask her that night. That should be their night. But curse his asthma for being unpredictable. He never expected it to attack, must be because of the stress he had for preparing the program. The program must be perfect. Perfect just for her. But now he realize that he worked his butt off just to let his best friend reap all the things he sow_

_He closed his eyes, preventing the salty tears that endanger to fall. She didn't even realize that he wasn't even listening. Why does it have to hurt? Why can't he be numb for a moment? _

* * *

_As he was discharged from the hospital, he started to distance himself from his two best friends. The trio became a couple and a third wheel and sadly he's the one unattached. She seemed to feel the tension between the two of them so when the opportunity that the two of them were left alone, she grabbed it. _

"_Hey, I'm starving. I'm just gonna get some food okay?" She nodded his head in affirmation, watching her boyfriend walk away. His blonde hair swaying in every step. She turned her attention to Natsume who's up in the biggest branch while trying to fake a sleep._

_She sighed. It's hard to always break the awkward silence between her, Natsume and Ruka. Ever since Natsume was out from the hospital, things became quite hazy and complicated. He started to ignore her and Ruka at times but still manage to be with them. Ruka is bothered abit by the change and it threatens her that their supposed perfect relationship with Ruka will not work if Natsume still tags along_

"_Natsume, stop faking a sleep and get your lazy ass here." She commanded while snapping her fingers. Natsume muttered a few string of colorful words as his feet touched the ground._

"_What?" He snapped at her. What did he do? He wonders. _

"_What's your problem?" She asked straight forward_

"_I have no problem" he shrugged. He tried to obscure his irritation. He was trying his best not to mingle with their business but now a confrontation is added? "What a lucky day" he mutters silently with sarcasm._

"_You know Natsume, this attitude of yours will get you to nowhere. And you know what? I'm better off without you." With that she stomped her way towards the canteen where Ruka is supposed eating. Natsume stood there, shocked and speechless. Her last words echoed in his head._

_I'm better off without you_

_I'm better off without you_

_I'm better off without you_

* * *

He runs his hands over his raven locks to release some stress. Twin falls formed from his eyes. He's frustrated. He closed his eyes for a minute to control the series of tears that might fall. He needs to be happy. To be happy for Ruka at least right? He sighed and concentrated to form coherent thoughts. He was a mess to begin with. He needed to clear his mind and let go of the past. For some odd reason, he started singing this peculiar song.

_I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.  
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?  
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.  
So I travel back, down that road.  
Who she come back? No one knows.  
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream._

_I was at the top and I was like I'm at the basement.  
Number one spot and now she found her a replacement.  
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.  
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.  
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.  
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.  
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair._

_My lover, my life. My shorty, my wife.  
She left me, I'm tied.  
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right._

_I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.  
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?  
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.  
So I travel back, down that road.  
Who she come back? No one knows.  
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream._

_When I be ridin man I swear I see her face at every turn.  
Tryin to get my usher over, I can let it burn.  
And I just hope she notice she the only one I yearn for.  
Oh I miss her when will I learn?_

_Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback.  
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.  
__**l**_

_Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough._

_I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.  
And now i'm missin, wishin she'd pick up the phone.  
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.  
Cuz I was wrong._

_And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.  
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?  
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.  
So I travel back, down that road.  
Who she come back? No one knows.  
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream._

_If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.  
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.  
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.  
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.  
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.  
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything._

_I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.  
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?  
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.  
So I travel back, down that road.  
Who she come back? No one knows.  
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream._

_And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.  
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?  
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.  
So I travel back, down that road.  
Who she come back? No one knows.  
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream._

"Natsume, just fucking let go of your feelings for her! Don't be fucking stupid, she's not worth the tears you're shedding." A voice piped up. He looked down only to be greeted by a pair of hazel eyes.

"What are you talking about? Go away. They need you there. Leave me alone." He growled at her. The brunette just shrugged and leaned on the trunk. She started to hum a very familiar tune.

"Yes Natsume, it's just a dream. But don't expect her to run back to you once again. Think that you're not just a toy whom she leaves when she founds a new one and will get back at you when she doesn't like the other anymore." Hazel and crimson clashed. A magical moment that seemed to last for a few minutes before the brunette turned away.

"You're a great guy Natsume, you deserve something better." She beamed at him. A heart melting smile he never expected form the resident ice princess of Gakuen Alice. She's Mikan Sakura for crying out loud! The student body president you should never go up against. She walked away from him while still humming the same song, Her melodious voice completely captivated Natsume.

He needed a new beginning. A fresh start with someone. Someone like Mikan Sakura perhaps?

* * *

Hey there! :) haha, i caught didn't I? You thought Mikan likes Ruka ne? :) haha well, there are so many stuffs going on in the next chaps. :)

REVIEW! :)

And oh! I do not own Gakuen Alice. Higuchi tachibana does :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Hello there! Tsk, I'm kind of piled up with school works yet I can't seem to start everything 'cause my mind is blocked with these crazy ideas that makes me itch to update. I DO HOPE AND PRAY that after this update, I can face the reality of being a student IN PEACE! Without that tiny voice in my head persisting to write this down :| Now I'm having second thoughts on why I choose my current school. Geez, I'm only 16 and I feel like I'm about to die already. College sucks. I miss my life already. Curse the university and their impossibly high standards. Anyways, I'm blabbing already. Just enjoy! And oh, thanks for the review by the way. That made my day :)

Disclaim: Gakuen Alice is not mine. Don't sue. XD

**

* * *

By the Sidelines**

**Chapter 2**

_

* * *

Hyuuga's never cry. _

Mikan shook her head in negation at the thought. She's a firm believer of that until the person who said that very statement made her think the otherwise. Who knew that the mighty Natsume Hyuuga poured his tears over a girl?

"He's human of course" She mumbled to herself as she follows the path of earth heading towards the playground. But still, never in her dreams she imagined that she would witness the raven haired lad in a state of vulnerability, let alone weeping because of love.

_LOVE_

What a stupid word she muses. That word made millions of people cry and wallowed themselves over self pity. Yet, ironically, that same word made millions of people experience the most exhilarating euphoria man has ever felt; the greatest feeling that philosophers and poets over time has been seeking inspiration.

Yet, she never truly believed. She let out a ragged sigh. She used to believe the silly thing we call love and even happy endings until 5 years ago.

* * *

"_Nii-san! Look what I've draw!" A bubbly brunette bounces towards the house, desperately trying to find her brother. She sprinted towards his room, clutching a piece of sketch pad to show him something special. _

_She pushed the door open. Dim lights greeted her. A negative aura seems to envelope the older Yukihara's room. As she comes closer to her brother, she can hear the faint sobs. Her brows rose in confusion. What's happening?_

"_Nii-san?" Mikan inquired peeking quizzically at the brown haired teenager wrapped in a blanket. The same brown pools greeted her, but now, the usual specks of life seem invisible. A series of teardrops soon followed. She didn't notice how, but her brother managed to give her a bone crushing hug while pouring all his heart's content. She hugged him back, unable to resist her brother's invitation. Mikan stayed like that, hugging his brother while rubbing his back to sooth him. When the crying stopped, she let go and looked at him expectantly._

"_Are you alright Nii-san?" She asked, unable to contain her concern for her older brother. Akira just looked straight to her eyes, hazel meets hazel. He looked down, contemplating to answer her truthfully._

"_I'm… fine" Akira's voice broke, hoarse from the crying._

"_No you're not!" Mikan contradicts his statement. She never saw her brother like this. He's definitely not okay. She heaved a sigh a plopped next to her brother._

" _Nii-san, tell me. What's wrong?" She held his hands, looking at him as if she feels his agony deep inside that he's trying to conceal. Akira shakes his head, closing his eyes for a minute to think. But then, when _

_he opened his eyes, tears threaten to fall again. He looked down, burying his face in his palms. Mikan continued to rub circles on his back to comfort him._

"_It's nothing Mikan. It will pass. I just need to let it all out." Akira responded while trying to hold back the tears. He smiled sadly at her, his hurtful expression unmasked. His serene expression broke her sister's heart. What does her nii-san did to deserve this terrible fate?_

"_What's wrong nii-san? Tell me? I can't bear to see you like this" Mikan pleaded. Her visit to her brother became a totally different situation now. She just wanted to show him the portrait she made. It's the picture of the family, beaming at each other. But now, it lay on the floor, totally forgotten because of the present scenario._

_Akira smiled at her sister's concern. Would he tell her? He wouldn't want to break her heart because of the news. He can't endure seeing her in pain. He looked over her shoulder, only to see Mikan's purpose of coming over. He stood up, bent over and picked it up. She observed Akira as he traced the lines of the sketch. He scrutinized the picture while reminiscing some memories inside his head. Mikan glide her way towards him and was about to ask something when a sharp voice cut them from their trance._

"_I never did something stupid!" Their mother's screeching voice was heard all over the house. It was then followed by the slamming of door from the opposite corridor, which happens to be their father's study. _

"_Really Yuka? Then what's this?" Mikan and Akira crept up towards the door. Through the small slit, they see the whole situation. Izumi is standing up, as he slammed the morning paper in his gigantic oak desk. Yuka glared daggers at the inanimate newspaper in front of her._

"_That's bull Izumi! Are you actually that low to believe that crap?" Yuka raised her voice. Pointing her manicured nails at the source of the predicament. Izumi shook his head._

"_Crap? I wouldn't believe it if it's not photographed. Really YUKA? Snuggling that guy over coffee? What we're you thinking? And don't start on that being "low" because you're the one who's making a fool out of yourself" Izumi banged his fists over the table, startling Mikan, Akira and Yuka simultaneously. Mikan was frightened at his father's harshness that she quivered and stumbled forwards. The door opened fully as the two adults widened their eyes at their children secretly eavesdropping._

"_Mikan! Akira! What's the meaning of this!" His father demanded. Akira stepped up, protecting her scared sister behind his back. He glared at his father and mother for scarring her little sister's naïve mind._

"_What is the meaning of this!" He shot back. His father was taken aback by his son's rather rude and uncalled response. Yuka stood up from her seat and glared at him icily._

"_You've been eavesdropping are you? Where are your manners?" Yuka taunt his son menacingly. Akira whipped his head towards her, not missing the angry glint and malice in her mother's eyes. _

"_I always kept my manners intact .Unlike a whore who snogs her lover in public." Akira countered_

_SLAP_

_Mikan's eyes widened in disbelief. Akira looked up while holding his swollen cheek, inevitably looking murderous towards the person he calls mom. Yuka out of the blue, dropped to the floor, shocked with her previous action. Crystal water starts to pour from her brown orbs._

"_Honey, I'm so sorry." Yuka was raising her hand to cup his cheek and cooed him when Akira slapped her hand away. _

"_Don't touch me." The older Yukihara sibling responded callously. He looked down for a moment and by the time he lifted his head, the once lively eyes became dull and indifferent. _

_All this time, Izumi kept his gaze on his family. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see his princess trying not to cry in front of them. She had her head bent down, slouching her back. He noted the small movements of her back, indicating his presumption is correct. He needs to step up now. He can't bear to see his children suffer like this._

"_Enough Yuka! We do not need your presence anymore. You had the chance but you blew it." The man of the house gave his final verdict. Yuka was about to argue with him when he immediately rushed to Mikan and Akira's side, hugging Mikan in the process. Akira looked at him, apologizing for his past actions to answer him back. Izumi just nodded his head while cradling the fragile creature in his arms. _

"_Mikan…" Yuka mumbled, the girl lifted her head and astonishingly the same thing happened. The once glittering eyes lost its luster._

_Then that's when Mikan Yukihara turned to Mikan Sakura we knew today._

* * *

"Pathetic life" Mikan mumbled to herself as she positioned herself to swing all by herself. A traitor tear escaped her eyes unannounced. She immediately wiped it away never wanting to let go further down her face.

"Why does that memory never fails to make me cry?" She wondered briefly. Nevertheless, tears started to fall again, but this time, she didn't wipe it away, letting the bitter tears touch her face. She looked down to control the flow and make it stop when out of the blue she heard a very alluring voice.

"And I thought Sakuras never cry." Came a mocking voice of Natsume Hyuuga. She tentatively looked at him, only to be greeted by a crimson handkerchief handed in front of her face. She took it and timidly wiped the tears away. All the time the brunette is drying her face, Natsume kept giving unsteady glances at her. By the time she's finished, she spoke softly and grinned at him.

"Thanks."

"And smile too! Wow Sakura, what a surprise!" He said deadpanned. But deep inside, he secretly admired the microsmile she gave him.

"Haha. Very funny Hyuuga. And to think that I thought Hyuuga's never cry and compliment others, but seems I was wrong" She smirked at him. He was caught off guard and unable to respond rightaway. He whipped his head towards the other direction, perfectly concealing his blush. (was it because of embarrassment or else?)

"That makes us in the same boat Sakura." He peered at her. He walked towards her back when suddenly, he pushed the swing away, with Mikan on it.

"Ahhhh. Hyuuga! Make it stop!" The brunette screeched. The wind slapping her face continues to blow. With her pleading, Natsume just pushed it harder, making the swing elevate to a whole new height.

"No, that's my revenge for making me speechless." He countered, seemingly forgetting his past predicament

"But you're always speechless! I actually thought you're a mute when I first got here!" Mikan answered back. He chuckled to himself. Mute? Really?

"See! You can also be a psycho! You chuckled out of the blue! Wahhh, Hyuuga! Make it stop!" She pointed out while yelling at him. Natsume couldn't control himself. He stopped pushing and sat down to the swing next to her. Clutching his stomach, laughter begins to erupt from him. Mikan shoot daggers at him.

"And what's funny Hyuuga?" She tapped her feet while throwing him a questioning look. He stopped momentarily and turned to look at her.

"You're crazy ideas makes me laugh." He replied shaking his head, trying to died down the laughter. Mikan looked at him innocently. He can feel the heat coming to his cheeks, he then put his bangs to use to conceal his blush.

"I was just being honest Hyuuga! You're the crazy one! You pushed me for nothing!" She blabbed. Wow, Mikan Sakura blabs? What a surprise! As she continues to blab, Natsume noticed something. He grinned impishly. Mikan seemed to sense his aura for she stopped and looked at him.

He pointed one long elegant finger at her. Tracing the finger's direction, her eyes fell on her flipped skirt, perfectly showing a small area of her knickers.

"Real mature POLKADOTS" Natsume voiced out. For the first time in her life, Mikan blushed bright cherry red. Natsume found it rather cute—oh, adorable (Hyuuga's never say cute). Mikan mentally counted from one to ten to control her temper. And by the time it took her, a rather witty remark reached her ears.

"You have to do better than that if I were you. A thong perhaps?" Natsume added amusingly.

Next thing he knew, he was face to face with the dirt, with a fuming Mikan Sakura walking away.

She pushed him out from the swing.

Figures.

* * *

That ends the second chapter of By The Sidelines! Hope you enjoy!

-tAnGeRiNe-jUjUbE08

:)


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